In Matthew 18:21-22, when Jesus told Peter that he should forgive “seventy-seven times,” His intention was not that we should keep track of how many times someone sins against us. Rather, Jesus is saying we should keep forgiving until we lose count, too. And nowhere is this more important than in marriage. Many secular people today talk about forgiveness. But only those who know they have been forgiven much can forgive others much. How can Christians intentionally develop this type of radical forgiveness in marriage? First, it is important that we attack the insignificant. This is counterintuitive, and you may be thinking, “Doesn’t it make more sense to focus on the major issues rather than the small things?” Normally it does, but to forgive in all things we have to start by learning to forgive the small things. When you train yourself by the power of the Holy Spirit to forgive your spouse the small offenses, you will be prepared for the hurricanes as well. Next, we must arrest the incompatible, meaning that once we forgive and let go of the hurt, we need to imitate 2 Corinthians 10:5 when it says, “[W]e take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” You see, even after we have decided on forgiveness, we will still be tempted to hold a grudge. This is just what the enemy wants so he can lead us into sin. That’s why whenever even a thought of unforgiveness enters your mind, you must arrest it, right then and there. Don’t let it get a foothold in your soul. Finally, we must hold fast to our true identity. We have offended a holy God; we have wounded the heart of Jesus. And yet, every time we come to Him in confession and repentance, He extends forgiveness to us. This same power to forgive is available to all God’s children through the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Thus, husbands are able to freely forgive their wives, and wives, their husbands, as they remember their true identity. It is not easy to forgive with this kind of freedom. But whenever feelings of unforgiveness come to mind, we can look to Christ and choose to “[f]orgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Prayer: Father, empower me to forgive much in my relationships, just as I have been forgiven much. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Read Philippians 2:3-4. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and without shame. This nakedness was of the physical sort, of course, but it was also a spiritual nakedness. You see, they had transparency with each other and with God. Nothing but openness and honesty. But when selfishness entered the hearts of our first parents, sin came in and blew everything up. I am convinced that selfishness is Satan’s number-one tool to destroy a marriage. The beautiful relationship that the first couple enjoyed—the kind of marriage that was only possible because of their selflessness and transparency—was dismantled by Satan in an instant. Now, every fight between married couples, from the time of Adam and Eve down to today, stems from self-centeredness. You may be saying to yourself, “If this problem has been going on for this long, is there any hope for me? For my marriage?” With Jesus, there is always hope. When you live in the power of the Holy Spirit, you’ll be able to live out the apostle Paul’s command to “value others above yourselves” and become a Christlike spouse who is mature, magnanimous, and malleable (Philippians 2:3). Mature Christians ask, “How can I sacrifice for my spouse’s comfort?” not, “How can I get my spouse to do more for my comfort?” Mature Christians reflect, “How can I be more patient with my spouse? How can I respond gently when I am irritated?” This kind of maturity flows from God’s Spirit at work in you. Magnanimity is generosity and benevolence—core characteristics of selflessness. To bless their marriage, magnanimous Christians seek to understand their spouse’s thought patterns, feelings, and needs. Finally, selfless Christians are malleable or flexible, meaning that, in marriage, both husband and wife submit their personal desires to the other out of respect for Jesus. That’s why you do it—out of reverence for Christ. As each person sacrifices for the other, we see the clearest picture of Christ’s relationship with His Church. As you and your spouse together die to self, your marriage will reflect the power of the resurrection to bring new life and abundant joy. Prayer: Lord, help me to see the ways that I act and think selfishly in my relationships. Give me the strength to submit to Your Spirit so that I can become mature, magnanimous, and malleable toward my spouse. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

I think God must love weddings. Consider this: Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding by turning water into wine (see John 2:1-11). At the beginning of history, the first man wed the first woman when God presented Eve to Adam (see Genesis 2:21-24). And at the end of history, there will be the wedding feast of the Lamb when Christ and His bride, the Church, are joined together forever (see Revelation 19:6­-9). Read Genesis 2:21-24. If God loves weddings, just imagine His feelings toward marriage. For a wedding is only a beginning, but the marriage that follows lasts a lifetime. God instituted marriage before there was sin in the world. It was part of His good and perfect plan for humanity, meant to reflect His relationship to His Church (see Ephesians 5:29-32). A creative force, marriage produces families, homes, and ultimately whole societies. If you want to see where a culture is heading, just look to its marital relationships. Are husbands and wives committed to their relationship? Or is divorce all too common? Is there an effort to redefine marriage? Is God’s original design for families being twisted and destroyed? A culture that treats marriage like this cannot last. Ultimately, marriage is one of the means at God’s disposal to make us more like Him. It is God’s intention that husbands and wives grow more like Christ as they grow closer to one another. Of course, this isn’t easy; there are challenges in every marriage. That’s why our wedding vows talk about richer and poorer, sickness and health. Add to the mix our own sinfulness, and you’ll understand why I say that my marriage has only lasted because of the grace of God—and the grace of my wife. I believe there are three foundational stones to a fulfilling relationship: selflessness, forgiveness, and conversation. You’ll find that in any marriage, any problem—or any potential problem—has at its source a lack of one of these three things. In the following days, we’ll take a look at each of these to reveal how to have a marriage crafted according to God’s design—a masterpiece that brings beauty and strength to the world and glory to God. Prayer: Father, as I consider the foundational stones to a fulfilling relationship, empower me to put them into practice for the good of my family and community. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we all know how to paint ourselves in the best light. If we keep up the charade, we know just what to say to appear more successful or more spiritual than we really are. And although we may appear to have it all together—and we might even have our friends, neighbors, and coworkers fooled—God sees the heart. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul described a coming time of judgment in which every believer will stand before the Lord and have their works tested. This isn’t a judgment having to do with our salvation. That issue was settled once and for all at the cross. Jesus Christ ransomed all who call on His name—eternally imparting to them His righteousness by His blood. The judgment Paul writes about has to do with the works we do for Christ that will determine our eternal rewards. Builders who insist on giving God nothing but their best—the best of their resources, time, gifts, and talents (their gold, silver, and precious stone, so to speak)—their offerings will stand up to fire. On the other hand, those who are doing all the right things but with the wrong motives will have their works revealed for what they are—straw. Are you building for the glory of Jesus or for something else? May God search your heart today, and may He empower you to live a life that brings extravagant honor to Him. For He alone is worthy! Prayer: Lord, You are the author of every pure motive I have; You are the perfecter of my faith. All praise belongs to You. May I pour out myself as a living sacrifice and magnify Your name, for You have done great things for me! I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Unless you’re in construction, you probably don’t spend much time thinking about foundations. You may even take it for granted that the places where you spend your time—your home, your workplace, your school—have all been built to withstand time and tragedy. It’s only when a foundation is put to the test that we find out if it was any good in the first place. Paul told the Christians in Corinth that he laid a foundation for them—the Gospel of Jesus Christ (see 1 Corinthians 3:10-11). This foundation is sure, invulnerable, eternally firm. But it is the responsibility of each and every believer to build upon it. If you have placed your trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, your eternal destiny is settled and secure, just like a solid foundation. But with every decision you make, you’re building upon that foundation, and what you build will determine your heavenly rewards. There are many believers today who are building with straw, and one day they will stand before the Lord and discover that it has all burned up. In this world, it seems someone is offering us straw to build with at every turn. But if we will push aside the straw of false religions, empty philosophies, and worldly pursuits and instead obey God’s Word, we’ll find we’re building with “gold, silver, [and] costly stones” (3:12)—eternal materials beautiful in God’s sight. Prayer: God, help me build to the glory of Your name with beautiful materials, lasting materials. I know that as I seek Your face, proclaim Your name, and serve others as Christ has served me that I will store up treasure in heaven. Thank You for empowering me to do these good works by the gifts of faith and Your Holy Spirit. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Sin first entered the world when Adam and Eve believed Satan’s lie and ate fruit God had forbidden them to eat. They disobeyed, choosing their own “wisdom” rather than trusting and following God in His infinite, perfect wisdom. All these years later, nothing has really changed. Each human philosophy and ideology elevates man’s desires above God’s—and that’s why they will all fail. Only God’s wisdom can actually fix the messes we’ve made. But, while we have access to the mind of God through the Holy Spirit (see 1 Corinthians 2:11-12), the only way to fully benefit from the Spirit’s work in our lives is to surrender ourselves to Him. Every day, we must ask Him to take over, to sit in the driver’s seat. In a sense, we must do what Adam and Eve failed to do—yield everything in our lives to God through His Spirit. If we ignore or disobey the Holy Spirit, we will grieve Him (see Ephesians 4:30). If we keep it up, we may even “quench” Him (see 1 Thessalonians 5:19). In other words, He’ll stay silent until He’s invited back in. No wonder so many people today can read the Bible and yet miss everything it’s saying! But the good news is it’s never too late to surrender to the Spirit; if we but ask, He’ll lead us and guide us, giving us the wisdom we need to thrive in this world. Prayer: God, I want to walk by Your Spirit—to keep in step with my Best Friend. I know that means I must submit. I must decrease, and Christ must increase in me. Give me the will to walk in Your ways and to call on You, that I might become more and more like my Savior. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.